to own Color

I remember going to the ring shop with my mom when I was little to get her wedding ring fixed. I remember realizing this was an important mission for her and I remember a quick moment of concern when she took off her wedding ring and handed it to the man at the shop and I thought something was wrong with my parent’s marriage. I remember going back to the ring shop with her to pick it up.

I remember the color emerald green.

She had it on her ring. She wore it in her clothes. She wore it in her big square earrings that went out of style way before she quit wearing them. But I never liked the color emerald green. My favorite color when I was little was white, until I was told that didn’t count. But white was clean and pretty and I thought it was the most beautiful color of all.

I saw something that was an emerald green today and I thought, ooh how pretty! And then I wondered, when did that switch occur?

I live in Color Country. That’s what they sometimes call it. Every color you can imagine can be found in the rocks or dirt or trees or wildflowers around here. When the Virgin River swells and curves, there are parts where you can’t even reach the bottom and you can tell because that part of the river turns a brilliant shade of emerald green. It sparkles like my mom’s ring. It’s beautiful.

We used to travel through Navajo nation on vacation through Arizona and we’d stop at the Navajo road-side stands and mom and I’d buy jewelry. I resented that they used so much turquoise because I didn’t like turquoise so I bought necklaces with juniper beads because they were brown instead. When my granddad died we each received something from his jewelry collection. My granddad loved turquoise. I have one of his turquoise rings from the Navajo and I turned it into a bracelet and it’s my favorite piece of jewelry. I never appreciated turquoise until then. Now it’s one of my favorite colors and there’s no better match than turquoise next to dusty brown skin.

I can’t imagine my life if I hadn’t taken the risks I’ve taken and gone the places I’ve gone. I wonder if my favorite color would still be white. It seems with each new adventure I add another color to my pallet and my world is already overwhelmingly colorful. Sometimes we can argue on whether a car is green or blue and assume the other person is color-blind. But the truth is, we’ve only seen color through our own lens and I don’t think we ever are seeing the same thing. Color is more powerful than just a label. With each passing experience, we own colors. We connect thoughts and memories and scents to them. And we’ll never see eye to eye and I think that’s beautiful.

happiness

I made cinnamon Indian Frybread tonight and it was easier than grilled cheese.

I couldn't be more content.

when Laura came to town

The past couple weeks, some strange things were happening in the park. Suddenly there were lots of local law enforcement coming in and out. And then there were these guys hanging out by park headquarters always rolling suitecases behind them, wearing bermuda shorts and hawaiian shirts, who smiled and waved as if they knew the place and knew exactly who you were. They dressed like tourists but they were so obviously not. Then we finally were told the big secret... Laura Bush was coming to the park. Secret service had been in and out, making preparations, for the past couple weeks atleast.

I so happened to be working the entrance station where she was scheduled to arrive. And she came, blew through my outbound lane in a convoy of toyota minivans. And that was it. Not too much excitement. But then, we were told to watch out for sketchy people. And I had this girl come through, with a slight tone of possible bitterness in her voice, she said, "You know why I'm here. There will probably be more like me." Totally just sounds like a groupee, or a fan, or wacky stalker type... not anything really dangerous. But I called her in anyway, mostly cause of the tone of her voice. Next thing I know, she had pulled into the private event and law enforcement quickly was on her. She played dumb tourist and asked where the shuttle was. Today I came into work and someone told me that she ended up on the news and turned out to be a Bush supporter. Why in the word the media jumped on this one, I have no clue.

Apparently Laura stuck around a couple days. Some people protested and though the thought of war makes me sick too, they make me sicker because they can't separate a good issue from a bad. She was in town to rededicate our nature center and I think it's good to just focus on that. My friend Lex says you can't be a dark cloud every day.

I liked that.