Just when I thought that taking some extra vitamins was keeping my mind pretty straight, I do this. I was craving cinnamon...
I had an extra tube of crescent rolls in the fridge and got out my cinnamon and butter and found a random bag of white powder in the cupboard which I assumed was sugar. I spread the sugar and cinnamon all over the dough and rolled them up all cute and popped them in the oven...
I sat and salivated...
I couldn't wait for the rolls to cool off, I popped one into my mouth. Something tasted funny, but I couldn't figure it out. It kind of made me feel sick. I figured I should try another just to investigate this further. I gobbled down the second one, but really kind of hating it. Then, I couldn't believe it. I had a whole bunch of cinnamon rolls sitting there just begging to be eaten and I didn't think I could handle another one. They were making me kind of sick.
I looked over my ingredients again. I figured it was the butter I used. Must have been bad butter. For some reason, I kept overlooking the suspicious bag of white powder. Finally, after checking out the butter, my eyes fell on the white stuff. I stuck my tongue into the bag to taste it, expecting one great sugar rush.
Salt.
I had to do one of those hurry and rub your tongue to get all that crap off kind of gestures like my dad did when he accidently ate a dog breath mint.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
the greatest
I walked along surrounded by the cathedral of cliffs and suddenly the pine shot off into the sky. I looked up and asked which was greatest.
...then I knew, it was the three of us, together, in this place.
them there five-foot tumbleweeds
Today I was crossing a small creek as I was walking back from work and under the bridge was the most gigantic, mindblowing tumbleweed you could ever imagine. I mean, it was so big that it felt like a joke… like someone had hidden it here with a camara to watch how people reacted to it. It reminded me of those British comedy skits where the guy pulls out the four-foot long phone in public and tries to talk on it.
I started laughing as I lifted it up with my shoe to see how big it really was. I swear it was like five feet across. One giant tumbleweed. Well, as I lifted it to see it, the wind caught hold of it and it took off.
I heard it yell “Praise Jesus, I’m healed” as it leapt into the air and sped off ahead of me. It ran toward my home and I was trailing behind it laughing, hoping it wouldn’t hit anyone’s car or dog. And then it stopped. I was afraid we were playing some sort of game of tag and if I passed it, it would catch up with me on another gust of wind and knock me in the head, so I reached out and picked it up to move it off the road. Then I felt really silly walking down the road with a five-foot tumbleweed.
Apparently, I didn’t realize cause I’d never decided to touch one before… but tumbleweeds feel like a cactus, only maybe alittle worse. Because now my hands are full of about a hundred little yellow needles or pricker-like things. And where I dropped him off in the grass, tumbleweed immediately decided to go dance off across the road again anyway. So, all in vain. But atleast I will always be able to say, during those endless stretches of highway in Kansas and you have nothing to talk about except “Whoa, look at that tumbleweed!”… Now I’ll say, “But did you ever see one of them 5 footer ones? No? Well, I have.” And maybe I could make one out of concrete and post signs along a 70 mile stretch of highway telling people to pull off and see the “World’s Largest Tumbleweed!…and a 3-Legged Cow named Sue” (except I’ll say the cow fell and broke a hip and is in a cow treatment facility). And I’d put my attraction right next to the World’s Largest Prairie Dog and feed off it’s business, especially since he’s never open.
I started laughing as I lifted it up with my shoe to see how big it really was. I swear it was like five feet across. One giant tumbleweed. Well, as I lifted it to see it, the wind caught hold of it and it took off.
I heard it yell “Praise Jesus, I’m healed” as it leapt into the air and sped off ahead of me. It ran toward my home and I was trailing behind it laughing, hoping it wouldn’t hit anyone’s car or dog. And then it stopped. I was afraid we were playing some sort of game of tag and if I passed it, it would catch up with me on another gust of wind and knock me in the head, so I reached out and picked it up to move it off the road. Then I felt really silly walking down the road with a five-foot tumbleweed.
Apparently, I didn’t realize cause I’d never decided to touch one before… but tumbleweeds feel like a cactus, only maybe alittle worse. Because now my hands are full of about a hundred little yellow needles or pricker-like things. And where I dropped him off in the grass, tumbleweed immediately decided to go dance off across the road again anyway. So, all in vain. But atleast I will always be able to say, during those endless stretches of highway in Kansas and you have nothing to talk about except “Whoa, look at that tumbleweed!”… Now I’ll say, “But did you ever see one of them 5 footer ones? No? Well, I have.” And maybe I could make one out of concrete and post signs along a 70 mile stretch of highway telling people to pull off and see the “World’s Largest Tumbleweed!…and a 3-Legged Cow named Sue” (except I’ll say the cow fell and broke a hip and is in a cow treatment facility). And I’d put my attraction right next to the World’s Largest Prairie Dog and feed off it’s business, especially since he’s never open.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
my zion
Who knew two years later, I'd be sitting in my car back at this Best Western, stealing wireless internet, working the same job again, and most amazingly, that this computer Shawna gave me would still be alive!
A week ago, I turned a key and pushed through a heavy door and into the living room of my home for the next 7 months. Dropped my bags at my feet and finished unloading the car. It didn’t take long because I roadtripped with two other friends and their own luggage, so basically everything I own here was shoved into the hatchback trunk of my car.
I expected to be the last to arrive in this house, as work started the next day. But I soon learned from maintenance that I would be living here alone for the next month. My two housemates are seasonals for wildfire and they don’t need to arrive till May. I scouted out the bedrooms and immediately came face to face with Henry.
Henry got his name because I needed to put a friendly, happy spin on this unwelcome housemate. He’s a large spider with fangs that are visible from a few feet away, furry pale yellow legs with black feet, and when he spreads his legs out he’s the size of the palm of my hand. I remembered these guys from when I lived in Zion before. I don’t think they bite. I just think they’re kinda OCD as they scurry from room to room eating up all the spiders and gnats and ants that creep in, like little furry maids that actually love their job.
So it’s me and Henry here together. He follows me and watches me do laundry and cook my meals and at night when I come out of the bathroom from brushing my teeth, he is waiting at the door like Reese, my dog, always did when her eyes begged isn’t it time for bed? Except Henry has a lot of eyes and I don’t like to get close enough to see all of them.
I could kick Henry out… but I have two fears- that he’d come back all angry and use his fangs on me in my sleep, or the more likely, my house will become overrun by lots of bugs and spiders that really would bite me in my sleep.
My job is the same as I did two years ago. Lots of things have changed, but I’m remembering a lot and that is helping. I’m on a four day weekend already and I am bored out of my mind. How could I be bored in Zion? I’ve gone out walking or hiking almost everyday and honestly, I’m just tired of walking alone. If I could put a spider on a leash, well, I guess I’d take him.
People have probably given up checking up on me since I haven’t posted in ages, but if you do, you’re welcome to come visit me. I’m lonely! And I like visitors. Yes, even you.
A week ago, I turned a key and pushed through a heavy door and into the living room of my home for the next 7 months. Dropped my bags at my feet and finished unloading the car. It didn’t take long because I roadtripped with two other friends and their own luggage, so basically everything I own here was shoved into the hatchback trunk of my car.
I expected to be the last to arrive in this house, as work started the next day. But I soon learned from maintenance that I would be living here alone for the next month. My two housemates are seasonals for wildfire and they don’t need to arrive till May. I scouted out the bedrooms and immediately came face to face with Henry.
Henry got his name because I needed to put a friendly, happy spin on this unwelcome housemate. He’s a large spider with fangs that are visible from a few feet away, furry pale yellow legs with black feet, and when he spreads his legs out he’s the size of the palm of my hand. I remembered these guys from when I lived in Zion before. I don’t think they bite. I just think they’re kinda OCD as they scurry from room to room eating up all the spiders and gnats and ants that creep in, like little furry maids that actually love their job.
So it’s me and Henry here together. He follows me and watches me do laundry and cook my meals and at night when I come out of the bathroom from brushing my teeth, he is waiting at the door like Reese, my dog, always did when her eyes begged isn’t it time for bed? Except Henry has a lot of eyes and I don’t like to get close enough to see all of them.
I could kick Henry out… but I have two fears- that he’d come back all angry and use his fangs on me in my sleep, or the more likely, my house will become overrun by lots of bugs and spiders that really would bite me in my sleep.
My job is the same as I did two years ago. Lots of things have changed, but I’m remembering a lot and that is helping. I’m on a four day weekend already and I am bored out of my mind. How could I be bored in Zion? I’ve gone out walking or hiking almost everyday and honestly, I’m just tired of walking alone. If I could put a spider on a leash, well, I guess I’d take him.
People have probably given up checking up on me since I haven’t posted in ages, but if you do, you’re welcome to come visit me. I’m lonely! And I like visitors. Yes, even you.
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