Death Valley, California

Drove through Death Valley... it was 116 degrees and I was too afraid to use my ac and overheat... so I didn't explore much. Instead of switchbacks, you drive down 4000 feet into the valley on a straight road that just dips enough to slow you down. It was an incredible sight. And the scenery changes with each elevation. It had rained the night before (the ranger said it was more like a hurricane) and power had gone out and the roads were covered with mud. Plows were out, plowing the mud off the road like snow in an Ohio winter. A lake had formed (or maybe it's always there?) just off the road and I had never expected to see so much water in Death Valley. Stopped at the Visitor Center long enough to watch the slideshow and then I was off.

Mesquite, Nevada

Stopped in Mesquite where I attempted to go climbing with my friend Anthony and his friends Joe and Stacey. It stormed the night before, swelling the Virgin River and coloring the waters brown. It got pretty deep and swift in the middle and it took an hour and a half to cross the river so we could even get to the rock wall. They sent me down a zipline kind of thing (I don't know all that climber lingo), but the rope was "dynamic" (see me trying to talk like them?) and it dropped me right down into the water and I was inching across with the river swirling all around me. It was amazing! Anthony, who should not have been climing anyway due to a serious knee injury from falling from this same wall a couple weeks ago, was carried across the river anyway. So the whole zipline thing... I guess that was just for kicks.

MTV Todd

So my phone rang last week... it was a number I didn't know and I didn't feel like answering it. But then I felt guilty so I called back...

A guy's voice answered, "Hello Juli."
"...hello?"
"This is Todd from MTV."
"Hello... Todd from MTV..."
"How are you doing?"
"Fine."
"How's the project coming?"
(I'm finally putting 2 and 2 together...)
"Oh, it's great. Almost done. I'm ready to be done. My body's exhausted. I'm exhausted. But it's been good work."
"That's really great to hear. Where are you from again Juli?"
(I think he's interested in me...)
"Ohio..."
"Where in Ohio, Juli?"
(oh maybe he wants to visit me...)
"Mansfield."
"How do you spell that Juli?"
(ah shoot, Todd from MTV wants me to spell Mansfield)
"M-A-N-S-F-I-E-L-D"
"And how old are you?"
"23"
"Cool. Thanks! Just want to let you know you are for sure going to be in our piece on MTV news... at this point. We still need to do revisions."

You know what that means? Tentatively, this FRIDAY, AUGUST 25th, St. Bernard Parish will be on MTV News (most likely a little 3 minute bit) and... you might see me making a fool of myself because I don't remember saying anything intelligent.


... so I saved that number... put it in my phone as "MTV Todd"... just so I can feel special that MTV called me.

... You know you would have done it too.

lil update

I really don't usually have this much time to update like this and I don't know if a great number of people actually read my blogs anymore but I have too many stories to share that I can't keep to myself... and this is an example...

So my week began gracefully with my mercury spill. I brought a total of 5 emergency vehicles to good old camp hope from about 3:00 to 10:00 Monday night; 2 fire trucks, fire chief, the EPA, and a Hazmat crew. It was exciting.

Tuesday I am exhausted. I come back from work and shower and collapse on my bed. 10 minutes later my mom calls me. My credit card company called her. Someone's trying to steal my identity. They charged over $1000 worth of stuff on my card somehow. Don't know how they got my information but I think this means I should probably change my passwords online. I don't know what else they have access too if they got my card numbers. So I spent that night calling the company and some other place that investigates these things. It was fun.

Then... Thursday I'm at the work site and my team is doing an amazing job. I'm inside breaking down a door and using myself as a ramrod and I was really getting into it. (Little did I know there was an old piano wedged up behind it) And I hear someone calling my name outside the house. My team yells for me and I go out. And this tiny (I mean the most ridiculously tiny and lesser butt than I have) asian girl introduces herself to me as Sue Chin Pak from MTV news. I have no clue who this is. But she interviews me and apparently this is airing within the next two weeks. I'm not promising I'll be on it since it's only supposed to be a 3 minute piece. But, pretty exciting huh? And did I mention a few weeks ago I taught this up and coming musician Teddy Geiger and his band how to lay a roof? And then got free tickets to his show that night in downtown New Orleans. He was nice, though I didn't really talk to him much. I think he looks exactly like Harry Potter, but he doesn't wear those dark rimmed glasses in his shows. I guess it's too Harry Potterish. And that's probably a good decision on his part. I also didn't know who he was.

Ok, that's all I had to share. Some Australian news crew came into our house on Wednesday unannounced and we kicked them out for not introducing themselves.

good times with mercury

So yesterday I made a nice name for myself here... As bus captains we're required to snip the little vile of mercury off the thermostats and drop it into a bottle of water. Well, we've been so fortunate the past couple weeks to have a buttload of FEMA water shipped to camp and it comes in cans (and tastes like, in my opinion, when an annoying little kid splashes around in a hotel hot tub and water gets on your lips... mmm... salty body sweat and chlorine...). So I did not have a bottle at the site and decided instead of bringing back a little vile of mercury that was bound to get lost or crushed, to bring the whole thermostat back. As I was getting ready to place the vile into a plastic bottle to take outside to our mercury bucket, it was knocked out of my hands and shattered at my feet. Mercury went everywhere. I was laughing hysterically... for some reason it was funny at the time. But as more people walked by and a couple of us were pushing it into a pile in the middle of the hallway, I kept hearing comments about how scary mercury was. And then someone looked it up online and found out it is in fact pretty scary despite my mom always telling me she played with it all the time when she was little.

I went to ask our firemen who are always on site what to do. They weren't there so we called. Soon we had two fire trucks in front of the building and my little area outside my room was entirely blocked off with yellow tape. People were mad cause they couldn't get to their rooms. The firemen were annoyed because now they had to follow some protocol and evacuate the area and call EPA when all they wanted to do was sweep it up and forget about it. Then they started hassling me about how I had to go through decontamination and stuff. The director of the camp was furious that we didn't tell him. Some big wig army guy that oversees this whole operation showed up and they pointed me out to him... "she's the culprit..." Some dirty firemen began making crude comments to me about having to strip down there and take a chemical shower. I had to get out of this place.

So I went to get some pizza with some people. And as we were leaving, the director of the camp called. "The EPA is here. They need you to come back immediately so they can write up a report and get you decontaminated." I came back and they were taking pictures of the scene. More of the building had been blocked off. Everyone was standing around, tapping their feet, giving me dagger eyes (ok, not really... I might have been dreaming that part up). And they pulled me aside and asked me a bunch of questions. Apparently the EPA does not understand what a thermostat is because they didn't understand how much mercury there was. I even knew that. It's just a drop!

A haz-mat team pulled up and suited up in big yellow tyvec suits and masks and headed in. After a long time of chin-rubbing and "hmms" they decided to get a special vacuum that apparently sucks up the mercury. They sucked it up but the big scare was what was still in the air. So they had this little machine that tests the air quality and it was still too dangerous to enter. (The crew leader for EPA was quoted as saying "I'm not risking my mens lives to send them in there!")

So they took my clothes... and my teva sandals I was wearing at the time. They put them all in special bags and put a machine up to them to test the mercury levels. They were all 2 times the safety reading so they asked if I was really attached. I said yes. We only get a couple pairs of shirts and shorts and I have to wear them every day for work and get them sweaty and smelly. And my tevas... well, they're my tevas and yes I'm attached.

They took my information and told me they'd call me back to let me know if the decontamination process worked out with my clothes. Otherwise, they will have to be disposed of. Finally around 10:30 or so we were allowed back into our rooms and all the doors were left open all night and day to air the place out.

Didn't sleep at all last night cause I kept having these little anxiety moments where I was sure I was going to die now of mercury. And I never would have worried except for the stinking EPA stressed me out so much and took my clothes. So bus captains are no longer allowed to handle mercury. We have to leave it for hazmat at the site. People are now getting trained about mercury. The big wigs are having meetings about it all. Everyone important is asking "Why the hell did that bus captain have mercury in the building?!!" And I'm thinking why do we always have to find blame in someone? It was an accident! We'll move on. And I'll just go crazy by the time I reach 30.

cemetary

photo tour

volunteers?

www.camphopeonline.com

'nallins (or 'nawlins... you pick)

Woke up this morning to sheets of rain pouring down on the metal roof. It never rains alittle in New Orleans. The first time I saw it rain I was terrified. I was sure the whole place was going to flood. It doesn't seem the sewage system has been entirely cleared yet because when it rains the streets do flood here in St. Bernard Parish. I moved my bags away from the wall, just in case it would come in. I live in a gutted elementary school in Violet, LA. When we first arrived, rooms were mostly separated by a tarp. Since then, they've hung sheetrock, but the ceiling's not finished yet so it doesn't reach the roof and the place can get really noisy... especially when it rains in sheets. Sounds like it's all going to come down on me.

Last night I walked Bourbon and Decatur streets with some new friends. I absolutely love downtown New Orleans. Bourbon street can get pretty dirty and crazy at night, but the bars are amazing. Last night we ate dinner at an old bar where I finaly tried the Muffaletta (apparently an important bit of NO cuisine). Then we walked to Preservation Hall where we watched a 6 man band perform in this tiny, dark, hot room that looks untouched since the early 1900s. They played Just a Closer Walk with Thee, which is often a funeral song down here that starts out slow and speeds up when the funeral's over and they're dancing down the streets. They played their signature "When the Saints" where everybody sang along. And they played an old slow jazz song where the sax player "Stackman" stood up and mumbled some crazy lyrics and puffed on his horn in a way I only imagined I'd ever see in New Orleans. It's just as I ever expected it. The culture is so rich. You walk down the street and live jazz music flows from each door and meets in the middle where sweaty bodies meander from bar to bar. And it doesn't feel like they have some rich history they're constantly trying to recreate for tourism... the history's now and they're just continuing their way of life... full of jazz, drinks, and some of the craziest art I've ever seen. A couple weekends ago, I went to Pat Obrien's where we sat at an old piano bar where two pianos face each other, beer steins hang from the ceiling, and waiters dressed penguin-style with bowties and a cloth hanging from their forearm carrying small trays squeeze through the tables and take your order. You get to request songs and they honestly play everything. Two times in the same night, someone requested "Hang On Sloopy" and the whole bar broke into O-H-I-O. I was so excited! But only a few of us were doing the hand motions.

So not all of 'nallins is on Bourbon street. The reason why I'm here is we are working with the St. Bernard Parish government to "muck out" houses. A typical day begins at 5:30... wake up, eat breakfast (which depends on what was donated this week... sometimes breakfast is alittle lacking), get dressed and pack my bag. The first two weeks, I would travel with teammates from Americorps and we'd all just work on a house together, but this past week we had over 300 people here at Camp Hope so I was assigned to be a "bus captain." Basically, I still gutted houses, but had to carry a radio and make judgment calls that I'm probably not that comfortable to make. My team was from all over the US and Canada, people who heard about this opportunity and made arrangements to get down here and are committing 1-2 weeks to rebuilding St. Bernard Parish. I get on a school bus with my team and the bus drops us off at our assignment for the day. We start work early before it gets too hot and end around 1:30.

I have to go into the home first with the team leader and we bang around with pitchforks and crowbars and scare any snakes and rats away (since most of these homes have not been entered since the hurricane). We go to each room and open all the windows and try to get some air circulating. The house we started Thursday was pitch black in most places. The homeowner obviously tried to board it up before the hurricane and then pulled heavy curtains over the windows. We couldn't see anything so we ended up opening most windows from the outside with a crowbar. You walk into these homes and all the furniture and nic-nacs are swirled around all over the place. Couches and mattresses against doors, china cabinets on their sides with broken glass strewn about the room, overturned kitchen tables, a stuffed animal eerily stuck to the ceiling... You never know what you'll find. Somehow I usually find the mice families, as I pick up a dresser drawer that just falls apart in my fingers and 6 little mice scurry out of my hands. Brown recluse spiders everywhere because this is their haven. We've only seen one snake but he was pretty decent-sized. He liked the dark, quiet house too (and my team cut his head off with a shovel despite my "I'll hate you forever if you kill him!!! Let him get away!!!").

One little piece at a time (you have to be patient and enduring), we carry everything to the curb. We clear the entire home out, salvaging as much as we can. Usually the salvage pile is just glasses that stayed in the kitchen cupboards and some mirrors. Photos hardly ever make it, but when you find one, it's a treasure. Can't save anything porous so even if a stuffed animal or a quilt or embroidery look old and meaningful to someone, you can't save them. Everything's covered with black mold. After we clear a room, we take down the drywall, which just crumbles in your fingers. Take down the ceiling (if it didn't fall down already) and all the fixtures. Within 1-3 days, the house is nothing but a foundation with 2x4 framework and a roof.

I have been able to meet many of the homeowners, which is unique because many people just left town and don't plan on returning. It's ranged from Tim, who came and actually worked with us and threw away everything we salvaged for him (I did see him take a lot of smoke breaks on his front porch, though, just staring with glassy eyes at his life on the curb...), to Kathleen who looked so disoriented as she walked in the front doorway and looked at me and said, "this was my home," and began sobbing. I took her outside and showed her the salvage pile and I took off my hat and facemask and started crying with her as she picked up a couple of her grandmother's rings and put them on her fingers and tried to open her grandfather's old doctor bag that had sealed shut. An old framed diploma made it through almost perfectly and she held it and cried.

It's such an emotional and physical roller coaster down here. It's not like anything you've seen on the news. They show you 'nallins and all the life that's back in there and the jazz and the pretty people with smiles on their faces and the colorful homes all rebuilt... No one shows you St. Bernard Parish and the fact that no home, rich or poor, was spared; that the levees broke right here and knocked whole homes right off their foundations, dropped a giant shrimp boat in a neighborhood that no one claims now, placed refrigerators and mattresses on rooftops, and claimed lives marked with a big X and a 1 underneath it spray painted on every single house and business. Dead dogs still rot inside homes and my friend had to scrape a carcass that was just bones and some fur off a front porch on a home she worked on yesterday. You can smell a house that still has a dead animal inside. It's actually worse than the smell of a rotting fridge, which is one of the most foulest smells ever imaginable. Black ooze leaks out of the fridge as you carry it out to the curb and washing machines still full of what's called "Katrina water" spill out all over your clothes.

If you thought 'nallins was back, please look into St. Bernard Parish or Waveland, MS. These are two places where the stories are almost forgotten by US media. The anniversary's coming up so maybe they'll finally take a look our way. But they probably won't. So I'll try to keep this updated with photos and stories. Some pretty incredible stories I have to share already, but this post is too long as usual.

Roadtrip

Didn't think we'd cram it all in (plus ourselves), but Scrappy pulled through and was spacious and gracious enough for our travels to begin... just not real comfortably.

Arches, our first stop

Bryce Canyon

(we're pretending to be hoodoos)

viewing the Zion fires

my Zion

The tent still stands... we were kind of sad to still see it. There goes our cool story. You can see the blackened rocks right behind it from the fires.

Grand Canyon

Antelope Canyon

Kiss a cactus

Saguaro National Park

The infamous Punch and Casey who took us in for a few days.

leaving Tucson

Packed the little hatchback up with all our treasures from Mexico and the parks (including a ridiculous number of Mexican blankets) and stuffed ourselves in all the extra space left. With fake smiles we left Tucson.

that's right, numero uno

Went hiking before summer break with my friend Jamie (who we convinced to move out here!) in Colorado Springs.

summer break!

It's summer break for Americorps and I'm on an incredible roadtrip with four other girls and my car Scrappy! Hoping to get some pics posted when I get to a faster computer. But I'll do a quick little update... Ok, it will probably not be quick.

Left last Friday after our last meeting in Denver and arrived in Moab, UT. Searched for a little while in the dark for a cheap campground and finally found a $10 BLM site down a curvy back road. Slept with bright stars above our heads for the first time in months and noisy boy scouts and a splashing creek beside us. It was our first night so I wasn't used to sleeping with bulging rocks and twigs under my back so I didn't sleep much.

Explored Arches National Park the next morning, like regular tourists would... drive down the road, get out to see balancing rock... drive some more, slow down to take pictures of random beautiful rock formations not worth stopping for... drive... stop at the Windows, hike to windows, take pictures in windows, take pictures for an old man from Pittsburgh traveling alone... drive... park at Delicate arch viewpoint cause we don't have 3 hours to hike it, walk to viewpoint, click... drive... park at Devil's gardens but not enough time to explore or to walk the short way to Landscape arch so we turn around and drive...

Drove to Bryce Canyon National Park that afternoon. It was the last day of Bryce's astronomy week. Stood at Sunset point for sunset and walked down alittle ways, taking way too many pictures of all the wierd hoodoos. Attended a ranger talk on the stars. Then attended a special star viewing at the parking lot. All the lights were off cause Bryce claims they are one of the last places in the US where you can get a great view of the stars and milky way. We looked through telescopes as rangers and volunteers showed us Jupiter and Saturn and the milky way and an exploded star close up. Camped in a beautiful spot right on the edge of the canyon. Woke up the next morning and sat on the hill above our campsite looking down into the eerie abyss below eating a pop tart. It was heavenly.

With shaking hands and hyperventilation, I drove us to Zion that morning. I was insanely excited to see my home again. I kept trying to remind myself that things might be different, that my favorite restaurant Oscar's could be gone or the rangers in the entrance stations could be unfamiliar or a huge rockslide could have changed a landscape. But luckily... Zion was pretty much the same... I loved it. I was actually hugging everybody, which is something I don't normally do, because I was so excited. Also hugged a couple rocks I guess.

Set up our tent at Mosquito Cove BLM lands outside the park because it's free and took off to see the park. As we drove back to our tent later that evening, a friendly cop with a huge smile on her face eating a giant rice krispie treat greated us in the middle of the road. "Oh, we evacuated Mosquito Cove. Saw your tent there... sorry bout that. It's about to burn. The wildfires are jumping across the road. You'll have to find somewhere else to sleep." Then she smiled again as she waved us on to turn around. I'd be lying if I said we were upset. With joy and anticipation we readied our incredible stories to tell everyone back in Denver about our tent and sleeping bags being lost in wildfire and how we got a free night's stay in a hotel. Except we hadn't arranged that yet. So we drove on into town to find our free hotel.

There's probably about 10-12 hotels in the tourist trap of Springdale, UT. We stopped at every one. Got plenty of offers to stay with creepy front desk attendents... one lady that I think had a thing for Erin and I. One man even stopped us and offered for us to sleep on the floor of his hotel room with his wife and 4 kids. I felt alittle guilty. We weren't that desperate. We could find a place to stay, I just wanted a good story. That's all. We ended up sleeping on the floor of one of the park service houses where my friend Rayne lives. We thought that was still a pretty good ending to our story, as long as the part where the tent burnt up still worked out.

Unfortunately the next morning we drove to Mosquito Cove to find that indeed the fires had pretty much destroyed the other side of the road. Everything was completely black, right up to the campground. Our tent was spared.

We did Angel's Landing and part of the Narrows of course because the girls needed to experience that. Ate at Oscar's where they still knew me and gave me the generous local's discount. A shuttle driver in town stopped in the middle of his route and yelled out the window, "Hey I remember you!" The mean man who works the photo shop in town that I always say bad stuff about remembered me and told me I could get a discount in his shop if I wanted it. We got extra glossy maps at the entrance station (which at Zion, is a big deal). Ate a nice Lodge breakfast for more than half off cause they remembered me. Had dinner and good times at Jock and Robin's house (the park superintendent) and I "jammed" with him on the guitars even though I could only do a couple songs. I had really missed them. Did lots more that I don't feel like writing cause this post is too long.

Anyway, I felt like a queen. Loved it. I love Springdale and how everyone knows you and how someone even recognized my car was in town and gave me a call to see if we could meet for coffee. I love Zion, have I mentioned that? And all the red rock towers and orange brown dirt that sticks to your legs.

When it was time to go, I got a chai tea at my favorite shop and drove one last time through the park and on to Page, AZ. The only way I could get myself to leave was to promise I'd be back, soon.

Drove to Page and did Antelope Canyon. The girls loved it. I told them it was worth the $21 and they finally agreed. Drove on to Grand Canyon that night, South rim, cause North rim is on fire. Camped there and enjoyed the canyon the next morning by ourselves. I realized it was the first time I've been alone for 5 months, except when I'm in the bathroom. In Americorps, you're never ever alone.

Left that afternoon for Tucson and here we are... soaking in the red hot sun and waiting til evening when the sun lets up so we can finally open our eyes and see the landscape around us.

blogging in Beaumont... finally

My mom's right. She says I'm learning what not to do with my life through this experience. I went into Americorps thinking I'd find my corner of the world with some non-profit that I'd fall in love with. So far, it hasn't happened. So far, I know exactly where I don't want to be.

I've been neglecting the blog the past few months... I was noticing everything was becoming shallow and boring. And this will probably be that way too, but I am sitting in front of a computer with internet and I figured I'd take advantage...

I left Denver sometime in late February for Detroit, MI. My team spent the next 6 weeks working with the Accounting Aid Society doing a free tax service for low income families. I hate numbers but I loved the concept of it all. We were told that the rebates were 10% of many of the individuals' income for the year. It was such an important service and I'm glad I got a chance to be a part of it.

In mid-April we drove to Beaumont, Texas to work with the Salvation Army and Boys and Girls Clubs of Beaumont. We were told that the area had been hit hard by Rita last fall and that there would be plenty of work to do. While I've seen house after house with a blue tarp on the roof, we have spent most of our time organizing donations in their warehouse. I've had to ask myself almost every day why I am even doing this. While other teams are in New Orleans clearing out homes left untouched since Katrina, we are pulling out clothing to send to the thrift store, and I feel worthless.

Today I'm sitting at the receptionist desk at the Salvation Army, answering the phone and transferring calls. Yesterday a lady named Nadine called. She was crying. She told me an awful story about losing her home in the hurricane, moving in with her father who molested her children, moving out, and now losing all water and electricity to the home. She begged me to help her find a place to live. Then she begged me just to pray for her. I hung up and looked around the glass cage I was in.

I want out. Hurricane season is on its way and I can't understand why so many broken roofs are still covered by a piece of blue plastic. I'm selfish and I want to see my service make a visable difference. I admire the people who can serve without receiving anything in return. But I'm not one of them and this clear plate of glass that separates me from each person who comes into this office asking for assistance is making me crazy.

A lady just walked in asking for clothes. She said she's been wearing the same ones for three weeks now. I told her about our thrift store downtown and she said she couldn't afford it. I told her to go to the Goodwill downtown because everything they sell is a dollar. She said she had no money. I looked at my bag and wished there were a shirt and shorts inside. I looked at myself and wished I could give her my clothes. It's a ridiculous thing for a person to walk the streets of this rich nation without clothing. I really can't blame the prostitutes around here for selling all they own. Even with social service organizations left and right, it takes a lot to admit that you need them.

This is a rant and rave with really no answer. I'm tired and frustrated. But I have no solutions.

Detroit?

They warned us that we'd need to be very flexible this year...

We've been preparing this week to head out to New Orleans on Saturday morning, to Camp Algiers to live in a FEMA tent with other NCCC teams from around the country. We were going to work with Salvation Army preparing food and handing out items and doing deconstruction with the First Baptist Church. Today a man came and shared his survival story and I got even more excited to go and help people like him move back home.

And then we find out that headquarters has changed their minds again and they're sending us back to Detroit. So... I'm saying goodbye to the beautiful Louisiana sunshine and hello to the midwest dreariness. I just gotta remember all the reasons I was excited about Detroit again.

YAY, photos!

Remember all those times when I said "I'll post some pics later..." Well this is long overdue...

I don't know how this works but I've posted my Zion pics to yahoo. I never could figure out how to download pictures off these sites but I have ordered prints from yahoo and they turned out really nice. Sorry I didn't thin it out very much...

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/juleschiquita/my_photos

go nuggets!

Who are the nuggets? I'll admit, some of us expected to go to the Denver Nuggets vs. Phoenix Suns game tonight to find a chicken nugget doing cartwheels across the court... (I promise I wasn't one of them... but I did hope to see a little chunk of gold with legs sticking out of the bottom rallying the crowds). Sadly, the Nuggets' mascot is some sort of cat with a lightning bolt for a tail... no idea...

So the Nuggets aren't the greatest team but I think this was my first NBA game and I liked it! It was really fast and they let most of the fouls slip. Everything was going well, even the part about Denver losing, until I put on my sweatshirt to leave and it was soaked with beer from some hairbrain behind me. I reeked of alcohol the whole way home on the train and gave myself a headache.

Cheap night of fun... $11.50 including game and train. I'll try to get some pictures from people since I've pretty much given up on taking pictures since Utah. I guess I overdid it.

Alittle note to those who expected to see me in Detroit in a couple weeks... there was alittle change in the offices in DC and now they're sending 80% of their teams to gulf recovery so it looks like my team is headed to New Orleans now. We'll find out for sure next week... I'm trying to keep positive and flexible here but there was this part of me that was strangely excited about learning how to do taxes. We'll see...

juli number-cruncher neff

Well, the BIG day finally arrived... we woke up this morning and eagerly and nervously suited up and headed to the fifth floor classroom where we were to learn our fates...

We were each given a little slip of paper with separate clues on them and it was like a mad easter egg hunt. 60 people running all over campus, finding more clues that led to more clues. And finally we all found ourselves with a group of about 10 people, our "permanent teams" for the year. Though we're told we need to be flexible and allow some people to switch around sometimes and during our third round of spike everyone will be switched around, there still was A LOT of anxiety leading up to this day. I like most people I meet here. Everyone's pretty unique. Most people are pretty funny. But there are still those few who made it on my list of people I'd never want to work on a team with. So last night I went to bed with this odd familiar feeling, like Christmas Eve when you'd wonder if Santa was going to visit you or not and if just by wondering this, he would pass over your house just to spite you... I don't know how it connects, it just does.

So once we found out our teams, we had to figure out our project assignment. A LOT of nerves involved here too... you could be stuck in Denver tutoring kids or something (which is perfectly fine... I just am anxious to get out), or you could be one of the 6 teams heading to New Orleans to muck out houses that are still condemned and sleep in a FEMA tent (which sounds incredibly difficult and rewarding), or you could be part of the wildfire team that spends their first spike in chilly Chicago doing taxes for low-income families (I was so glad I wasn't a part of wildfire just for that reason).

All the wonderful options were jumping around my brain (I especially wanted a project somewhere in New Mexico or Texas camping or something) and everything came to a dead stop when I heard our assignment... doing taxes for low-income families in Detroit...

Anyone who knows me and my incredible hatred for numbers can imagine my reaction. But I've been thinking about it all day and little pieces of my brain are getting excited again. First, I feel really guilty that my oldest brother is doing my taxes again this year. I really wanted to learn so I could act grown up and now I will get to do them for 7 weeks straight... I might become a professional. Second, I will be in Michigan. Though it will be terribly cold along the lake and nothing like the warm Denver sunshiny days, I have been missing the midwest snow... alittle bit. And third, I didn't realize this til today, but this is an incredible opportunity to help out people in a very big way. These people might otherwise miss out on this money that belongs to them, money that will help pay bills and feed kids. They need this and it's free.

We're staying in a convent... should be interesting.

I've had the word taxes written on my hand for the past week or so, alittle reminder to call my brother and tell him where I hide all my important documents and stuff. Wonder if it was a sign...

So I'll be back in the midwest very soon! I leave on the 25th of February. We'll be taking about 3 or 4 days to get there. It's a 7 week project so we'll be back in Denver for our transition week by the 8th of April. It'll be fun to be closer to home.

try this instead

I have a couple brothers going to law school... they're good with their words and they have the ability to talk out of their butts and still sound intelligent. My little brother has been using bigger words than me since he was 5. My oldest brother is good at keeping his mouth shut though, most of the time. I have a hard time saying anything... I like describing things. That's easy. It's there, in front of you, no worries about whether I'm right or not. I'm just terrible about speaking my opinion, really terrible.

So... about this NCCC thing, I'm guessing he gives me permission since he posted his website, I'm directing traffic to http://imnewherenyc.blogspot.com/2006/02/getting-things-done.html

He has some good ideas, and a good attitude about it, unlike me.

ok now it hits home

I'm proud to be here. We're in our third week of training and we still have a couple more but I am so anxious to get out there and make a difference. This week the Red Cross has been in giving us an overview of disaster response and all the situations we might encounter. The other day we all were certified in first aid and CPR. Last week we learned how to change the tires and chain the tires of our vans. This week we're also learning basic construction to get ready to build or rebuild homes.

Last friday our team was at a coffee shop (in our fabulous Americorps khakis and greys) and I looked up to see an older couple walk by and the man got this cute little smile across his face when he saw us and said, "Thankyou. Thankyou for all you kids do," and he went on saying a few other things I couldn't understand. Wow. I don't know if I've ever been so proud to be a part of something. And then yesterday the Red Cross workers were telling us how much they rely on Americorps NCCC and how much of their disaster relief is made up of Americorps kids. I got that little proud smile again.

I've been thinking for some time how much I like college age kids (I still count myself as one of these of course). We're so full of potential. Like my Americorps training, we've been sitting in classes most our lives, and we're anxious, so anxious to get out and do something. We're so full of energy, and passion just searching to find a place to root itself. NCCC is such a good idea... taking this fire and passion when it's at its greatest and putting it to work, in areas that are in so much need. One of the smartest things a president has ever done for young adults was putting this group back into effect.

I was thinking about this all yesterday and then we were told we had an important unscheduled corps meeting in the afternoon. We all noisily crowded into the auditorium, and I joked how hopefully we were going to finally find out who failed the drug tests. But then a hush fell over the room as we noticed the faces of the Denver corps leaders. Some looked like they had been crying. Americorps is their life and with tears they shared with us that Bush has proposed his 2007 budget and he has decided to shut down the entire NCCC program. According to his little measuring tool, it has been deemed "ineffective" and very costly.

I have very little room to talk. I don't know what NCCC is all about. I've only been a part of it for a short time. But I have heard story after story and seen pictures of the work these people have done and there is no way this program is ineffective. And not only is Americorps NCCC cut but apparently 140 other public service organizations!

We were assured today that the money is there for us to complete our year of service but if we want this program to continue for other generations, we need to rally our family and friends. We aren't allowed to do a whole lot since we're working for the man, but PLEASE, look into this issue. I don't know a whole lot since it's so fresh and I'm so out of touch with the world lately. But I believe this is a big deal, a scary deal.

I've never been a fan of war. I never think dropping bombs on civilians is a useful way to bring peace to a country. I never liked the way our president smirks when people ask if he's seen the latest polls, "Really? I try not to pay too much attention to that." But I never outright disliked this man until this. I do not feel I am being taken care of in this country and I cannot imagine what the thousands of victims of natural and man-made disaster, environmental degradation, poor economic status, slipping schooling, limited or no health care, and just being born in the wrong place at the wrong time are going to think in these coming years when there are no more programs to assist them. Instead, the "leader" of this decaying country is off fighting a battle to win a prize of his own.

Yesterday, Rev. Joseph Lowery spoke at Mrs. King's funeral... "She deplored the terror inflicted by our smart bombs on missions way afar. We know now there were no weapons of mass destruction over there. But Coretta knew, and we knew, that there are weapons of misdirection right down here. Millions without health insurance. Poverty abounds. For war, billions more, but no more for the poor."

NPR-Bush's cuts http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5192631
AmeriCorps NCCC http://www.americorps.gov/about/programs/nccc.asp
SAVENCCC.org http://web.mac.com/thomashowardjr/iWeb/Site%203/Information.html
Voices for National Service http://www.voicesforservice.org/legis_update.htm
NCCC alumni http://www.beyondnccc.org/

I wanted to post some pics from our travels but I've realized I'm not smart enough to figure out how to download pictures from webshots, so I'm directing traffic to Shawna again...

http://community.webshots.com/album/546738458vCtXVZ

...cause you don't want to miss:
-me seducing Benjamin Franklin
-Dexter the amazing doorknob turning kitty
-visits to Franklin and Greenville Colleges and seeing the two Megans again
-asking the Two Fat Guys for directions to the worlds largest ketchup bottle and getting honked at by inconsiderate citizens of Collinsville that take their landmark for granted
-riding the St. Louis arch
-4 words... Nuclear Waste Adventure Trail!!!
-reasons why Elvis Presley is still alive
-World's Largest Ball of Twine
-World's Largest Easel Painting
-finally spotting one of the famous hoola hooping man signs
_________________________________________________________

I've also been meaning to post, because I'm insanely obsessed with receiving mail and not giving it... (but also because some people have asked for it)

Juli Neff
AmeriCorps*NCCC
Walsh Hall, Room 136
3001 S. Federal Blvd.
Denver, CO 80236

ATTENTION, MOM: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! (if you plan on sending your famous chex mix or anything...) Mail takes awhile to get here and I wouldn't suggest sending anything perishable (which does not discount Mrs. Freshleys) because we will be going on spike on February 25 and they don't mail us packages while we're gone for those 6 weeks. We do come back for a week in between spike projects.

trucker boyfriends, massive prairie dogs, and other adventures on I-70

Well I said I'd tell the story of Shawna and my trip out here to Denver, but seeing how Shawna finds ways to turn even the most meaningless details into good stories, I'm just going to use here words in this post...

(taken from her blurty, http://www.blurty.com/users/leyne/ ... hope you don't mind the advertisement, Shawna...)

Adventures on I-70!
Last night I waited in Akron/Canton Airport from 12:30 in the morning until a quarter ‘til 2. It was snowy, blowy, and I was just waiting for a proposition from one of the creepy construction guys who kept a constant eye on me, the lone passenger. It was almost 4 a.m. by the time I got home. Percy greeted me with a wagging tail... and then he peed on my bed. I slept on the couch.

The Destination: The Mile High City
The Mission: To have as much fun and see as much crap as humanly possible... the perfect mission.
The Means: Scrappy

Last Thursday Juli and I headed down “America’s Main Street,” I-70. We had no real plan other than to be in Denver by the 23rd. Scrappy was packed with a mountain of food that would sustain us for at least 3 weeks if we were to become trapped in an avalanche, or worse yet become lost on the back roads of Kansas. Along the way we recorded license plate states and any odd/interesting/stupid/creepy/waste of money vanity plates we happened to come across. Recorded below in the order that we spotted them:
~ New York ~ JOURNEY
~ Pennsylvania ~ KCK WGN
~ Indiana ~ 100 DGRS
~ Michigan ~ ANITGR8 (my fav)
~ Illinois ~ COWMAN (Indy)
~ Texas ~ FRANK (meg's neighbor)
~ Nebraska ~ ME TO
~ Iowa ~ MORRIS 1
~ Missouri ~ KAYT 4
~ Ohio ~ GC PROF
~ Oklahoma ~ LAMAR 3
~ Maryland ~ HUH HO
~ Kentucky ~ YUNEEK
~ Florida ~ BISONS
~ Montana ~ FOCUSS
~ Minnesota ~ GOT MLK
~ California ~ O GEEE
~ Wisconsin ~ JUST SEX (seriously, S. Carolina)
~ Alabama ~ VIZ LA
~ New Jersey ~ V BOY
~ Louisiana ~ KARAN
~ Kansas ~ SE AT L
~ South Carolina ~ PRO TYPE
~ Mississippi ~ MONMNT 3
~ Alaska ~ MUFFIN
~ Arizona ~ GABOR
~ Utah ~ CJANDJ
~ Virginia ~ PART THG
~ Colorado ~ SKAYM
~ Nevada ~ SHELZ
~ Wyoming ~ SHP MOM
~ New Mexico ~ MRS JDM
~ Arkansas ~ CIRCLE W
~ Oregon ~ S READ 1
~ North Carolina ~ ASHKEY4
~ Mexico (Chihuahua) ~ GREG R
~ ADHD

The trip was something like 1724 miles. Within the first 200 miles we had managed some interstate boyfriends. We went through a stretch where truckers were honking at us. Partially, I think because we were sort of hyper, and bouncing around the car like 16 year olds. And all it takes is one trucker radioing his big burly friends...

Juli and I were talking about how annoying it is when people pass you on the right. Soon thereafter a car passed us on the right. I was in the habit of checking people out as they passed us, because most people are looking at the road, not at me making stupid faces at them. I had just gotten into the bag of heart-shaped cookies from Buckeye Bakery, and I whirled around to my passengers-side window, shook my bright pink cookie at this man and yelled something like, "What are you doing?!" Well. The guy saw me, we made eye contact, I whipped my head straight ahead. Juli looked over just in time to see the guy wave before speeding off.

I nearly wet my pants I was laughing so hard at shaking a pink heart cookie and yelling at some guy on the interstate. Then I got really really hot and we had to turn the A/C on.

We stayed the first night with Megan and Ben and the last night with Juli's friend, Amy. Our first night with Megan was also the first night for Megan's new pet, a gray longhaired rescued cat named Dexter, who spent the night roaming in and out of rooms, indulging in his obsession with opening and closing doors. Unfortunately, Juli was the only one who didn't barricade her door. I found that several pillows seemed to do the trick. Megan reports that Dexter continues opening doors, and confirms Juli's hazy late night suspicion that Dex can, in fact, turn door handles.

I am proud that I picked Dexter out when we visited the shelter. Cats with sass and personality are the only cats worth having.

We left Franklin, IN early the next morning, but not before Juli seduced Benjamin Franklin.

First stop was The World's Largest Catsup Bottle in Colinsville, IL (but only after we decided to skip The World's Largest Pecan) which we were able to find only with the help of Two Fat Guys. We hustled our way across the state toward Missouri to see the St. Louis Arch, which made me proud for once to be so short and small. Very cool, and the most normal thing we saw or did the entire trip. Last stop of the day was a detour into St Charles/Weldon Spring to see the Nuclear Waste Adventure Trail and Museum (not, i suspect, its real name) which is the govt's attempt to "prettify" a former nuclear waste dump. It was very creepy, and we ended up trudging nuclear mud into Scrappy with our shoes. By the time we got back to I-70 it was completely dark, our shoes were glowing, and we needed to find a hotel for the night.

My only requirement was that the hotel had interior corridors. Juli's requirements included: indoor pool, hot tub, and continental breakfast, preferably hot. With our requirements we were able to find safe, fun, relaxing, and delicious hotels for the entire trip. That first night we stayed in the World's Largest Hotel Chain. It really was a World's Largest kind of trip.

Heading through Missouri the next day we stopped to hunt for the possibly non-existent Elvis Is Still Alive Museum...we found it...it was not yet open for the day...we proceeded on feeling satisfied having peered in through the windows. I have unofficially dubbed Missouri the most awful state in America. Granted I still have several more states to visit, but it's definitely in the top spot for the Armpit of America Award.

Kansas brought about the necessary 1 hour detour to see the infamous "World's Largest Ball of Twine" in Cawker City, KS. The twine ball is 17,874 lbs. and 7.800,511 feet... and growing! But not without the difficulties of keeping it in a "ball-shape" and one other hiccup, "the World's Largest Twine Ball is pungent with the smell of moist rot."

Loved it.

We saw a gorgeous Kansas sunset as we were heading back toward I-70 leaving the glorious ball behind us, but not before giving a sheepish wave to the Texas plates pulling in to see the ball as we were heading out. A family. The father looked perturbed, horrified, and embarassed at having driven an hour or so off the main road to see... twine.

We got "lost" heading back to I-70 having decided to take a slight detour off the main road. But it's not really a true vacation experience until you get lost at least half a dozen times or so.

The following day ended our time in Kansas, with the world's largest easel painting holding a Van Gogh rendition in some small town near the Colorado border. Disappointingly the World's Largest Prairie Dog was closed for the day, and we missed the chance to see mutant and exotic animals such as 1-6 legged steers, miniature donkey named Roscoe (awwwww!) and... rattlesnakes. It's a petting zoo too, apparently.

We rolled into Colorado the following day and veered off I-70 to head down to Colorado Springs for a night. We found so much to do in the area, and the were normal tourist things. Nothing like The World's Largest... fill in the blank. The first day we toured Miramont Castle, attempted to ride the cog to the top of Pike's Peak (you would THINK that the people working at the visitor's center would actually have some clue what they are talking about, and would be discouraged from making things up. Although if you had such a boring job, making shit up to trick random tourists would be the highlight of your day, most likely.)

We went to see The Garden of the Gods, amazing red-orange rock glowing in the sun with the white snow making it appear even brighter. That night we stayed in a super nice LARGE $80 room at a Holiday Inn Express for $45 (plus tax). Yay for the random Wendy's in Kansas and its assortment of coupon books! The following day we climbed 180-some steps to see a frozen Seven Falls, crawled all over the Manitou Cliff Dwellings of the Ancestral Puebloans, and visited the Cave of the Winds, with a semi-cute and very funny tour guide, who was most likely a geology student at the local university. Since we were the only two on the tour, he loosened up his typical shpeel. Any fool knows that you can't touch things in caves, but he reminded us of that and told us that there is a MASSIVE fine and possible jail time if you're caught doing so. Later he told us that he once led a group of 20 blind and/or deaf people through the cave. Whoa. He then told us that his boss instructed him to let them "touch whatever the fuck they wanted to."

Note to self: a perk of being blind is the consequence-free touching of cave property.

Midday we headed through Denver and into Greeley, the fastest growing city in America to stay with Juli's Ontario friend, Amy and Jonah, her dog. We were all just lounging in Amy's (fabulously cute) house when Jonah snapped at Juli, just in fun. Juli looked terrified and hopped up off the couch to move away and as she turned (i have never seen anything so funny in my life) Jonah nipped Juli in the butt. Juli pranced away, holding her butt, and looking terrified, but giggling just the same.

Jonah just stared at her with innocent eyes, thinking, "I'll get you later."

The next morning after breakfast at Perkins (which was playing classical music for some bizarre reason or another) we headed off to the airport. Juli dropped me off and then she was headed into Denver to begin her training for Americorp, the real reason behind the roadtrip. We both agreed that meeting new people sucks.

A quick hug and a wave ended our little roadtrip. I secretly wished Juli would give in to her nerves and skip out on Americorp and keep on traveling with me. So much fun.

Anyone want to travel around Ohio with me to see random, tacky, pointless sites? ... No? JULI COME HOME!

mental case...

I'm here in Denver... more to come about what I'm doing and the amazing trip out here... but that's for later.

I just have to comment on a mental case here. Everyone's at lunch and I have no one to tell this story to and, for those who know me and my stories, it's very difficult for me to contain them or my excitement to share them.

I was just down in the basement of our dorm where the laundry room is. I'd been waiting for days to get a chance at a washer and I was slowly pulling my wet clothes out and stuffing them in a bag since I guess I have to wait a few more days to dry them. I'm in my own world, completely zoned out, yet contemplating the fact that someone found this creepy building in a haunted Denver book and I'm alone in the basement, when I hear this awful scream right behind me. I turn around and there's this girl banging her head against a table full of clean laundry and screaming and whimpering.

I figured she was elated that I was pulling my clothes out of a washer and she was free to finally use it so I said, "Yeah, I'm done here." But she didn't take a moment to listen. She was off on this rant about how she tried to get back early and this is the third time she's washed these clothes and "This just aint how I treat my clothes!" and maybe a few "I'm going to go crazy"s mixed in. I tried to control her but she was violent and screaming and I tried to tell her "it's no big deal" that someone had taken her clean clothes out of the dryer when they were done so they could use it, but she got this horrified look on her face and screamed even louder, "I can't wear my clothes after someone's touched them! These are personal! I can't put these on my body! They're dirty now!"

Meanwhile I've just set my bag of wet laundry down and I'm backing out of the room like she has a gun pointed at me. I stood in the doorway trying to console her but finally I couldn't take it any longer. I yelled, "I just can't... handle you anymore!" and took off down the hallway.

I think the only other time I've felt so stressed in my life was when a Zion visitor this summer pulled up to my window yelling obscenities (I assumed) in German. He talked a mile a minute and wouldn't pause to give me a chance to talk and I finally had to scream at the top of my lungs "Just stop talking for a moment!" (which caused a whole line of traffic behind him to stick their confused heads out their windows). Now I've learned that you're supposed to deal with these mental cases with silence.

... I just went downstairs to see if there's a dryer ready but there were girl's clothes in one of them and now I'm too afraid to touch anything.

it's time...

I'm such a homebody. At this point, I'd rather spend 1000 nights watching Law and Order with my parents eating comfort foods like Stoffers lasagna and Figaros Pizza than do something scary like this. I'm constantly torn between this person in me that wants adventure and another that wants security and familiarity. Fortunately the adventurous person usually wins out, but today I'm really wanting anything but adventure. I know I'm going to love Colorado and I know it's going to be great to serve with Americorps. I just don't like this scary transition time.

So tomorrow Shawna and I head out. This will be the cheapest little roadtrip ever. My gas will be paid for by the government. My mom is helping with hotels. And da-da-da-daaa... You know those Wendy's cups that had AirTran coupons on them this winter and everyone told me it was a scam? Well, from the surplus of caffeinated beverages I consume daily, I got a free plane ticket so Shawna can fly home next Tuesday. We're staying in Indy with Shawna's sister and her husband tomorrow night and we're staying with my friend Amy in Greeley when we arrive in Colorado.

Anybody have any ideas for what to do in between? We allowed plenty of time to get there, but then we realized how boring I-70 really is. Gonna stop and see the arch in St. Louis, but at this point that's it. Any secrets along 70???

the boy

oh-so-flattering photo of me and the neff-you, Carter

what a profile

mmm... money

"When the last tree is cut, the last river poisoned, and the last fish dead, we will discover that we can't eat money..."

-www.greenpeace.org

I've been a complete load since coming home in November, I'm sorry. I could go through my day and share with you what I did and you can see what kind of load I've really become...

Fell asleep on the couch last night (this is typical) after watching the rose bowl with my dad and reese, my dog. Woke up around 10, oh so tired, and... holy crap, I just realized I actually worked out today. Now this wasn't a typical day after all. I think I worked up my first sweat since July. Showered and then filled the rest of the space between 12 and 5 with who knows what. My friend Jamie thinks I am so amazing how it's impossible to bore me. I can spend an entire day in my room (which is what I think I did) and be perfectly content and then you'd ask me what I did and I can't remember. I think I straightened things up a bit. I think I get distracted easily... looking through pictures and journals and books and nicknacks. Sometimes I sit there just looking around, almost like I'm taking pictures with my eyes, knowing someday I won't be here and I'll need to remember it.

This winter I've done some writing, lots of reading that I've been meaning to do for a couple years, cleaned for my mom, visited my new nephew a lot, and my greatest accomplishment... de-cluttered.

Life has a way of adding "stuff" and never really taking it away until nature decides to or we decide to. Fortunately I got to decide to this time. I went through every single thing in my room and took it to Goodwill, the women's shelter, the trash, or filed it away again. It felt so good to simplify. Mom says it's creepy, like what people do before they die. I'm just obsessed with simplicity lately. It's like extra stuff is a real weight that sits on my shoulders and I had to get rid of it. I physically feel lighter.

So, today was another fun-filled day and I'm sitting here with Reese pawing my knee, begging me to come to bed and I was reading an amazing book called, "Delaying the Real World," and came to the section about the organization GreenPeace. Good quote. Hoping I get to do alittle environmental work this year when I head out to Denver for AmeriCorps in a couple weeks.

Don't give up on me people. Even though I'm a complete loser without a life or a job and I never write on this anymore, I am working on putting Zion pics online to finally share. And I hope to get back in the habit of writing here (I'm told that I'm not cool anymore and that anyone who's anyone is on "facebook" but I'm just going to play the stupid card here and pretend I'm too old for that and I'm rigidly stuck in the ways of the blog).

HOME!

Well, I left the mid-90 degree temps in Tucson and I'm sitting here wrapped up in three layers of clothes including my mexican poncho and I'm still shivering... it's snowing here in Ohio. It's been snowing all day long.

It's so strange to be back, especially to be back in Ontario where new stores and housing developments pop up overnight. They've accumulated in the past 6 months and the change is overwhelming.

The disaster of my bedroom is overwhelming. I've taken on the project of clearing a walkway so I can move everything back in and maybe someday get to my bed so I can sleep there again. It's not as weird as I thought being out of the job and no school to go back to. I could get used to this for alittle while. My plan for November and December? Clear that path to my bed, hang out with my sister-in-law and the new nephew Carter, and look for a job somewhere, sometime...

I'll have to get a picture of the new kid to put on here. Definitely the cutest baby I've ever seen, but who could expect anything less from a Neff, right?

soaking up the sun while I still can

Well, here I am in Tucson, AZ visiting my aunt Casey and uncle Punch. They live in a beautiful house out in the desert beneath the shadow of Catback Mountain and bordering Saguaro National Park. I arrived here on Saturday after moving out of the dorm Thursday and staying the night with friends Jock and Robin Whitworth in Hurricane and driving 8 hours or so the next morning to Payson, AZ where I stayed with my friend Rayne and his family. Got to hike around some really cool rocks that evening and drive off the road to spot elk with the headlights and got stuck. Woke up Saturday morning and drove 4 more hours or so on to Tucson. It was amazingly familiar. As soon as I got off the main highway, it was like reliving a dream and I floated on wheels out to the desert where the sky grew and the cactus gathered around my car.

I love how the desert sky becomes so geometrically artful within the framework of the ocotillo. It's odd because I can't describe what happens when the red clouds dance behind the tall cactus arms, but something powerful takes place. The scenery doesn't change. I do. My perception of it all finds an emotion and runs away with it. I love the feeling it brings me. I want to run and curl up in a safe ball all at once. The ocotillo and the saguaro join together stretching their arms upward and celebrate the evening sky and I am reminded of how small I am. I wish to join them, but I don't begin to fit in. They are beautiful desert giants. I am small and simple and I have to force my mind to take notice of the glories around me.

I have always known that I am made alive in the desert. The sun melts my skin to bronze and I can sit for hours watching the colors of my legs dance with the oranges and reds of the desert dust. They know they are meant to be together. And the meeting of color and the sun's rays sending flashes of light across my eyes fills me with simple desert delights. I find my strength here, my joy, my energy.

But I miss Zion. How odd it is to walk this desert road and find the subject of wonder is the sky rather than the towering red rocks. I took a nap out in the sun the other afternoon and when I woke up at 5 to feel the sun's rays still burning on my cheeks, I remembered that in Zion the sun would have already set. I miss the red rock cliffs. I miss the constant whisper of the Virgin River. I miss waking up each morning to watch the blood red sunlight drip down the Altar of Sacrifice outside my bedroom window. Some mornings when I'd have to go to work early I'd complain that I was waking up before the rocks did. As I walked out to my car, though, I'd turn around to see the Towers of the Virgin finally rising from slumber, peeking into the sunrise light like a blanket slowly pulled from its face. The sunlight in the canyon was brief and I learned to appreciate every second the canyon gave me. At night, I lifted my eyes to view the window of stars and watched the Milky Way slowly appear as a diagonal curtain over the dark sky. The moon would then rise over the cliff and gave the rocks a second chance to shine again and then they'd shoot off colors- reds! yellows! oranges! greens! glow-in-the-dark whites!

Loving Tucson. Missing Zion. Craving to be back in Ohio. What in the world do I want...

By the way... my brother called today from home. A new baby boy, James Carter Neff, came today. I am finally an Aunt. Casey says I should be called Tia. I like that better than "aunt Juli." That just sounds old. I'm not old. So excited to drive home this friday with my parents!

Day Off

Today I hiked up to Scout's lookout and took a nap in the sun. Well, I wasn't crazy enough to fall asleep because I was laying near the ledge with a 1000 foot drop or so beneath me. So I lay there, rather wirey and alert, but still enjoying the sunshine. I finally got up after I heard too many hikers passing by, "If that girl even rolls over, (sound effects), she's gone."

The view of Angel's Landing and the Great White throne was amazing. I have some really fun pictures of Angel's landing I've been meaning to post on here. I'll have to do that soon.

I turned left and didn't do Angel's landing today, but hiked out alittle ways on the west rim trail. Incredible rock on this trail. It made me want to do the whole thing sometime. There are many things I've learned to do alone. But I decided this trail won't be one of them.

As I hiked along, I met four retired state troopers who dubbed me "the nicest gal on the trail so far." I didn't know if this was sarcasm or if they really meant that to mean something.

They said I needed something other than pictures of rocks, so this is their contribution.


I hiked down with them later and as they breaked and I took off down the switchbacks they yelled out, "Thanks for talking to the Duke! Just make sure you get to the sheriff's office soon for a restraining order." "Thanks for the warning," I called back, not really knowing what they were talking about.

Cool cool trail. Amazing views of the canyon.

When I got back from my hike, Arik, one of my housemates was dying to go get a buffalo burger. I fell to the pressure and agreed to go, even though I declared upon leaving, "I'd be a vegetarian if I could like vegetables." Buffalo wasn't on my list of meats I was anxious to try, especially after passing fields of them on our way up to the restaurant.

When we pulled into the dirt lot, I wasn't sure where exactly the restaurant was, till we saw the big ole entrance sign and the restaurant dogs greeting us in the yard. I heard some guy yell from inside, "We have people!" or something like that. And he promptly came out, brushed his hands on his apron and told us to take a seat inside or out and "how the hell are ya?!?!" "Fine thankyou," as I quickly chose a table outside. I didn't want to know what was on the inside.

This was our menu...

Sad news, they were all out of the rabbit rattlesnake sausage.

Or maybe the population was down... of rabbits or rattlesnakes, I'm not sure.

What the heck is this?


(see next entry to find the answer...)


(hint: we had a ball!)

I was excited to see Dr. Pepper on the menu... my addictions have not ceased. I was surprised to receive an old jam jar to drink it out of. For some reason, my Dr. Pepper tasted kind of chemically and I blamed it on the glass. I have this weird phobia of drinking out of glass glasses.

Note the sign in the background... "Please do not feed dogs." Several dogs sat at our table with us, salivating over our buffalo burgers and Rocky Mountain oysters... yes, you read that correctly. I ate the balls from some animal. I can't believe I did it, well, I only took a smallish bite. But I can now say I've done it.

This is Olga. The locals were having a grand time placing a bandana over her old cataract-ed eyes and giggling about it. Poor old Olga.

get ready for overload of worthless story and picture

The following posts were all supposed to be part of the same entry but I can't seem to post more than one picture without freezing up my computer and having to restart it, which I've stupidly done several times tonight. The strange shadows in the corners of my pictures are because I have a wide-angle lens which doesn't fit on my camara so I try to hold it steady in front of my lens, but as you can see, I often miss.

So yesterday morning on my day off I went to Snow Canyon in St. George. It was so gorgeous. I was alittle afraid going alone, but it turned out to be alright. It’s kinda funny that I could probably count on my fingers how many words I spoke to another human all day… It was a lonely day, but it was fine, not like some of my other lonely days.

I've sometimes heard Snow canyon nicknamed "little Zion" because it has very similar landscapes. I think it is an intersection of the Mohave desert, the Great Basin, and the Colorado Plateau. There are active sand dunes and others are petrified. There’s an old volcano and tons of lava flows. Desert shrubs like live oak, creosote, and sage are everywhere and the contrast of these beautiful greens against the blacks of volcanic rock and desert varnish on the sandstone and the red rocks and blue sky are astounding.

My favorite part was the sand dunes… I took so many pictures there. At first, I acted so mature. I walked along, disgusted that other people have torn the dunes apart with their footprints. Why can’t we all just walk along the same path instead of having to tread our own and leave a mess behind?

But then I began paying closer attention to the details… I saw cute little prints from some bird or lizard. I decided these prints were ok.

And then I spotted some prints left by a crazy child in bare feet. They were all over the place; running around in circles, jumping up and down, then rolling around in the sand. I decided to follow the prints. I found myself stomping around in the same stomping marks left by the little feet. It made me smile. I decided these prints were also alright.

And as I followed the child’s prints, they joined paths with the bigger footsteps and soon we were all travelling together, and I decided these prints were acceptable too because we all start out with child’s feet and we remain the same person. Our feet just grow alittle. But that’s when I looked down and realized I was still wearing my shoes.

It is alright for a child’s feet to grow into an adult’s in time. It’s inevitable. But what I was doing was letting my feet get to my head. I was forgetting that I was that same child still. Now these prints were unacceptable and I allowed them to go no further.



I kicked off my shoes and I jumped and played in the sand the whole way back to my car. Sometimes it was so soft and so deep that it came up to my knees. I fell on my butt a couple times but I acted like I meant to. It was just me and a giant sandbox. I needed that little reminder today of Juli the child.

I took some pictures of Scrappy because he's such a good companion (and model!)...

I let him wear the ranger hat just once...

And Scrappy took a couple pics of me...

(I know, you really think I've gone off the deep end)

fire dancers and pot smokers and me

There is a night security guard looking at me right now... I am sitting in my usual parking space in the dark lot... my face lit up in an eerie green glow from my computer screen. All summer I have come to the hotel parking lot to steal their wireless internet "waves" and they've never caught me. Don't you dare catch me now. I've almost made it.

Ok, he's gone. More important things to do. Brr... my toes are freezing. I can't believe seasons have come and gone and it's actually fall here in Zion. I remember driving in the first week of June and seeing snow still up on the caps of the surrounding mountains. I remember seeing all that snow melt in July and watching the Virgin river swell and pull the surrounding banks into it's current. I remember when it was too dangerous to hike the slot canyons when the flash floods were high and when the Narrows water was too fast. I remember the sad look on that German man's face when I told him it was closed and he said he'd been planning to hike the Narrows all his life and this was finally the trip. I remember that weird week in July when it hailed every day. I miss those nights when the rocks baked in the sun all day and kept all of us in the canyon warm during the night and I could walk around in shorts and tshirt and take a night nap on the bench outside the lodge. I remember the night when I awoke from my thoughts to find two skunks hanging out underneath my bench and other nights when grey fox would sneak up to sniff my toes. And now it's fall. The leaves in the higher elevations have already turned to yellows and reds. It's already snowed an hour away from us and the snowbirds have come down from the mountains to visit Zion "to get away from the cold." And I sit here tonight with my toes freezing. The cold has finally reached us too.

The other night I had my first and only bonfire for the summer. How sad is that. One of the park service guys is going back home to Ohio for school and he had a going away party. There was a weather advisory for strong winds for that night and all of southern Utah was asked to not have fires, yet that is exactly what we did. I looked around the circle and in the glow of the fire I could recognize almost every face. Springdale is small. The same person that serves you coffee one place is your waiter at the next restaurant. They were serving drinks out of the back of a pickup truck and some people had reached the idiot mode pretty early on because they had already come from the bar. I stood there throwing the stick for the dog. Lucky me, he always came back to play again. He was faithful. I needed a friend. Every once in awhile I glance back to see what people were doing. Some were twirling fire. One guy was riding a unicycle around blowing fire, except he increasingly fell on his face as he drank more and more to get more fuel for his firey breath. Other people were standing around smoking pot. I listened as their conversations turned more philosophical and watched as their mouths hung open more in a state of amazement at words such as "the" and "it." My side of the fire was alittle less interesting. We stood around talking and I threw the stick for the dog. I was surrounded by people, yet I realized I was completely alone.

I'm ready. I love Zion. I love the beauty of it all but I'm so ready to be home. I'm tired of being lonely. I live in community, yet the odd thing about community like this is that you can sit there in a room full of people and watch a movie, yet only be masking the fact that you're still alone. Physically, you're social... intellectually, you're dying inside. I had a weird dream last night about being back home and walking the streets alone. Everything was so grey and though I've been told some of us dream in color and others not, I've never been so aware of the grey of my dreams before. I met up with a carnival. It looked like fun, but I walked on because there was no one to enjoy it with. And the odd reminder from the other night, as I weaved in and out of the shops in my dreamy town, a dog followed me, asking me to throw the stick.